Lost In Stereo
by PandaKatie
Summary: Alex was Taylor's best friend - she even sercetly loves him. But she moves back to england, when they finally meet again Alex has a girlfriend, oh and Taylor has a abusive step dad. All Time Low fanfic
1. Chapter 1

**heey ! It's goood to see you again!**

**Sorry for the hold up on Remembering Sunday but I put it on a hituas for while I was on holiday but fear not! I shall be finishing it soon:**

**Brand newwww:D Hope you likes;**

**I do not own anything**

The bell rang shrilly, the end of class; and term.  
>I grabbed my bag and slung it over my back as I walked out of the room.<br>My phone beeped, 'Heeey! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU! I miss you',  
>It was from my best friend Alex.<br>I sighed, cutting across the field, I paused and sat down on the hill, hugging my knees.  
>'I miss you too! Don't replace me' I replied,<br>'No worries bbz. Impossible'  
>'nawhh 3'<br>Okay, I guess we flirted a lot, me and Alex had been friends since we both moved to America when we were 7; but I moved back to England when I was 12.  
>Encase you're wondering, my names Taylor Johnson, I'm about 5"3, black hair with purple and red tips, green eyes and pale skin, I'm pretty skinny too, but not by choice. I have a lip ring too, I'm called 'emo' but I am simply myself, I'm not sure if I am or not, it doesn't bother me.<br>Alex Gaskarth is my best friend, even though we live on different continents,  
>Truth be told, yeah I used to fancy him, but he thought of me as nothing more than a sister- which sucks pretty bad,<br>'I get to see you soon! 3' Alex texted,  
>His band All Time Low were going on a tour, and they decided to come a few weeks early to hang with me. I didn't know Jack, Rian or Zack that well, but they all seemed pretty cool.<br>I got up and started to walk home, my mood dropped at the thought of 'home'.  
>My mum remarried after my dad left, that's why we moved back here. But the guy was a dick.<br>He hit my mother and spent most of the time drunk, he acted nice to me, and even if he knew I saw him whack my mum about.  
>My mum tried to brush it off- saying he is 'going through a bad time', but I'm not the naive 12 year old anymore, after 4 years of this 'bad time' I see no end in sight.<br>I walked through the door, my mum was cleaning a reddish spot on the carpet, and I refused to let my mind think about where it came from.  
>"Hi, Taylor, how was school?" She asked, looking up, her lips were swollen and her cheek slightly bruised.<br>"Fine" I muttered, hurrying up the stairs into my room, the only place seemingly untouched by the violence.  
>She acted as if nothing happened, even too me, the 'I fell' excuse was over-played.<br>I dumped my school stuff on my bed and brushed my hair out of its ponytail.  
>I couldn't wait for Alex to come.<p>

**:3 p.s I am still aware off everyone's stuff being blocked/deleted, personally I think this is rubbish so go on DeviantArt and I have an account with stuff on if this at anypoint is deleted, my name is still PandaKatie. :3**

**We should make a thang and get loads of peoples names to send to and tell them we WANT real people stories to be able to be pulished, I see no harm in this so LETS DO IT!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Enjoy;**

**I do not own anything (sad I know)**

Chapter Two:  
>The day for the band to come was set for a week's time, Friday. I still needed to sort of where everyone was staying, at the moment it looked like they had to stay at my house- something I was not pleased about.<br>"So, Tay, when's your friend getting here?" Steve asked, smiling fakely with warmth.  
>You Retarded Bastard.<br>"Next Friday, and it's Taylor" I said, coldly, 'Tay' was what only my dad was allowed to call me.  
>Steve just smiled his sickly twisted smile.<br>I hate you. So much. Go die.

I spent the next week getting ready for everyone, I cleaned, brought more food and begged anything that would listen out there that Steve stayed sober for while they were here. Wishful thinking huh?  
>On Friday I woke up early to grab a quick shower, then I dressed in my hell bunny yellow tartan skirt, criminal damage 'awesome' tee, black converse and plain black goodie, I applied my make-up extra careful and slipped my sliver lip ring in as I left. My hair whipped around me, it was really windy and my fringe was getting too long, I sighed.<br>My house wasn't too far from the airport and the guys were (hopefully) strong enough to carry their luggage back.  
>The terminals were packed full of people, waving, kissing, hugging with family and friends who were coming and going on the airplanes.<br>All Time Low's flight was at one; I still had a whole hour to go.  
>Walking around soon lost it's appeal, we were all packed in so I ended up sitting in one of the airport's cafe's with a drink reading this weeks Kerrang!,<br>Funnily enough I turned the page to see All Time Low's smiling faces looking back at me, the article told me everything I needed to know, how they got together, touring etc.  
>Woah Gaskarth, you've done well for yourself.<br>At the bottom I saw a small piece about Daniel, Alex's older brother - He killed himself when Alex was 12, only a few weeks after I left.  
>Awh, Alex, why didn't you tell me?<br>I remember Daniel, he was pretty cool, always teasing Alex about me.  
>Poor Alexander.<br>I looked down at my watch, only 30 minutes till they landed, I grabbed the Kerrang! And made my way to their gate, it was 6.  
>Unluckily most flights came and went through 6, so it took me 20 minutes before I got to their bit.<br>I saw people standing around with cards reading names so I grabbed the Kerrang! And held out their article picture jokingly.  
>10 minutes pasted and people came out, but no sign of the guys...<br>I waited little bit more, then turned around to check the timetable, maybe I'd got something wrong.  
>Suddenly someone ran straight into me.<br>"HEYA!" Jack shouted, hugging me tight.  
>"Hey" I said, slightly shocked.<br>"Taylor?" I heard Alex say in disbelief, I turned to face him. On his arm was a small pretty blonde. What the fuck?  
>"Yeah" I nodded,<br>"Woah, what happened? You've changed"  
>"No shit, Gaskarth"<br>"Chill Squirrel, last time I saw you, you were so sweet and innocent" He mocked,  
>Alex nicknamed me 'Squirrel' as I have a fetish for nuts, I was surprised he remembered.<br>"Come here" He smiled, arms outstretched.  
>I hugged me, damn he smells good.<br>"I missed you" He murmured into my hair,  
>I stepped back and smiled,<br>"This is Ava" Alex said, kissing the blonde (ick),  
>She just death glared at me.<br>"Hi" I said weakly, waving.  
>Still nothing.<br>I shrugged and followed the guys to grab their luggage, I was walking behind Alex talking to Jack and Zack and Rian when Ava paused, and hissed into my ear.  
>"Stay away from Alex bicth"<br>Oh, it's on whore.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hai, everyone! **

**I see that I described my Taylor as a friend of someone's wow, that's really cool! :D buut it's unintentional.**

**I do not own All Time Low. **

**Alex's P.O.V**

I stumbled out of my room into the dark hallway; remind me to never room with Jack ever ever again.

Where is the light switch? I stumbled around, making loads of noise trying to find the god-damned light.

"Who's that?" I heard a sleepy Taylor mumble, the light turned on.

"Um, just me Squirrel" I smiled, she was wearing a long man's button-up suit shirt, it acted like a really short dress- showing of a lot of bare skin below it. One of the top buttons was undone, giving me more of a glimpse of the pale skin under it.

"What's wrong Gaskarth?"

"Jack" I shuddered, "I can't sleep in there!"

She looked at me for a while, her face free of makeup and her black hair brutally pulled into a ponytail, leaving her face bare. She looked so young- just like the girl who I loved.

"You wanna bunk with me?" she asked, clearly exhausted after Jack attacked her on the trampoline earlier.

"Sure" I smiled, she grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room, I laughed, thinking of shouting 'arr! She's taking me into her dungeon!' but I decided against shouting it, everyone would wake up and be really pissed.

Her room reminded me of my own, covered in every spare space was posters; Blink 182, Green Day, 30 Seconds To Mars, My Chemical Romance, Plain White T's… so many.

"Nice" I grinned; Taylor just shrugged and collapsed on her bed.

I snuggled next to her, "Goodnight Taylor"

I got up and snuck out of her room early in the morning, I didn't need Ava getting all pissed and the guys thinking Taylor was my…

I shook my head.

Taylor's P.O.V

I sighed and stretched across my bed, wait no Alex; I lifted my head to make sure he wasn't digging through underwear draws or something weird like that.

Nope, he'd defiantly gone. I sighed again and turned over; I wasn't the best person the share a bed with.

Suddenly a loud knock disturbed my pre-morning bliss.

Before I could get up and answer it, or call a warning it slammed open so I could see Steve, and he looked really pissed. Great.

"I see you're not up yet huh?" he said, crossing my room quickly,

"What?" I mumbled, feeling too lazy to move,

He picked me up by my throat, "Still tired after you fucked him you slut?"

He punched me in the stomach; I doubled over in pain, seeing black

"Who?" I whispered, my voice breaking because of his tight grip on my voice box.

My mum ran in, holding back Steve's arm before he could hit me again,

"Stop!" she pleaded,

Steve grunted, dropping me back onto my bed, but not before slapping my mum as he stormed out.

My mum grabbed me, holding me in her arms,

"I'm so sorry… Taylor..." She sobbed.

**use the Review button! :D I'm happy that my long-term fanperson Cant Be Saved is still liking my stuff. you are awesome. 3**


	4. Chapter 4

Taylor's P.O.V

I pulled on my clothes wincing at any slight movement, I knew about all the 'domestic' abuse, but I never understand why people stay- until now.

I looked at myself in the mirror, my eyes looked sad, I sighed inwardly and ringed them with thick eyeliner and flicked my fringe into my eyes.

My clothes covered most of my body; tights- the thick kind, a red tartan skirt and a long sleeved black top- the stretchy kind of material.

The guy's were already up; I could hear them digging through the kitchen.

I walked as slowly as possible down the stairs, and then I quickly hobbled into the kitchen.

"Good morning Tay-Tay" Jack grinned, hugging me, I winced.

"Tay-Tay?" I asked,

"Jack gives everyone weird nicknames" Zack laughed,

"And Alex calls everyone an animal!" Jack giggled, (I swear),

I looked at him, "Seriously Alex?"

"Sure, Squirrel, you already know yours, Jack is Kitten, Rian is Rhino, and Zack is Ferret, oh and Ava's Bunny" He smiled, leaning down and kissing her cheek, (*pukes*), Ava looks like an evil bunny.

"Woah Gaskarth, you sound like a girl" Rian laughed, punching Alex in the arm,

"I think Alex should have a nickname… hm how about Gaskank?" I chuckled,

Zack high-fived me.

Alex gave me a hurt face, and then Ava walked out for no apparent reason.

Alex followed her, but everyone else stayed,

"Do you like her?" I asked, really confused.

"No!" Rian almost shouted,

"She's a slut" Zack continued,

"Tried it on with ALL of us, but we turned her down" Jack said,

"Why don't you tell Alex?" I asked,

"He wouldn't care, He'll just get another whore" Rian sighed,

"But doesn't he-" Jack started, but Alex walked back in, without Ava.

"Whatcha girl's gossiping about?" Alex asked,

"Nothing Gaskank" I said, leaning down to open the dishwasher door to grab the clean stuff. My hair fell away from my neck.

"Hey Squirrel, what happened to your neck?" Alex said, touching my bruised neck.

"Um nothing" I said, standing up straight and brushing my hair back in place,

"Doesn't look like nothing" He mumbled,

Jack and Zack started to get the clean plates out the dishwasher,

"Awh, thanks guys!" I smiled, grateful for the conversation change,

The Jack dropped a plate,

"I'm so sorry Tay-Tay!" Jack said,

"It's cool Jack" I mumbled,

"What just smashed?" I heard an older male voice call, shit.

"I'm sorry Mr Blake…" Jack said, weakly,

"I'll clean it up!" My mum came in, "Go on children, I'll clean this"

"Okay" We all mumbled, heading up to my room.

"That guy freaks me out" Jack mumbled, sitting on my lap,

"Get off!" I laughed, ignoring the comment,

"No!" Jack said, clinging to me, "Mm pillow",

I gave Alex a pleading look,

"C'mon Jack, get off Taylor" Alex said, trying to coax him away,

Jack just shook his head, so Alex nodded to Zack who grabbed Jack and pulled him off me.

"Thanks Merrick" I said, hugging him, trying not to wince to loudly, my rips hurt more after Jack clung to me.

Alex's face went stormy.

I finally noticed that we had no Ava, not that I was complaining.

"Where's Ava?" I asked Alex,

"She's getting herself a hotel room… oh and she doesn't want to stay for tour"

"Oh" I tried to sound disappointed, everyone else was grinning behind Alex's back.

"Tour sounds like fun?" I smiled,

"Yeah, I love touring" Alex said, everyone was nodding in agreement.

"Hey! You should come!" Jack said,

"Wait… what?" I said, but Jack ran downstairs before he could hear.

"THANKS!" I heard him call, and then he ran back up, grabbing my hands in a dance,

"YOU CAN COME!" he shouted,

"What?" I laughed,

We all joined in, having a giant hug,

"Wanna be our merch bicth?" Rian asked,

"Sure!" I said,

I felt home.


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay guys, I needed to let you know; I am not going to be able to upload this everyday, because I have to juggle this, Remembering Sunday and my BvB fanfic on deviantART.**

**Oh and go check out Dreams Only Last For A Night and Remembering Sunday He Falls To His Knees if you like this. :3 (Remembering Sunday is a squeal to Dreams Only...) **

**:D 3 Much Loooovvve**

**Katie**


	6. Chapter 6

**Oh, and check out my other stuff. :P**

**Well, Hello, I'd like to thank those two amazing reviewers, Cant Be Saved and AlixxandriaBarbieDoll or Julia. :3 but I know one of you (muahahah I read your stuff, YOU NEED TO UPDATE HOLD ON TIGHT) writes ATL fanfiction, and I need help and more people reviewing for morah ideas. I only imagen the starting, near ending and nothing else, so y'know. :3**

**Plwease enjoy and let me know what you think and if you think I'm doing anything wrong. xD**

**I do not own anything.**

**Taylor's POV**

"Goodbye, Mum" I whispered, kissing her on the cheek.

I hugged her, quietly begging that she wouldn't be dead by the time I got back. If she was… I would blame myself, Steve only needs me gone so he can do whatever he wants… I shuddered.

"Goodbye Love" Steve smiled, trying to hug me as I bent down to grab my bags, I moved away to the door,

"Yeah bye" I muttered, walking out, I saw Jack, Zack, Rian and Alex waiting on the pavement, when they saw me they all waved.

I set my bags down next to theirs, it made a pretty funny pile, I couldn't help but notice that most of the luggage was marked 'A.W.G' which stood for Alexander William Gaskarth.

I started laughing, Alex raised an eyebrow, I pointed to the luggage and he blushed.

"You're such a girl" I said, exploding into fits of giggles.

Alex just blushed and walked off, the phone pressed closely to his ear. Probably, Ava. I didn't know why all of a sudden I got pissed…

I managed to compose myself,

"Jacky, why are we waiting here?" I asked Jack, batting my eyelashes,

"Mickey Matt's bringing the van round" He smiled,

"Mickey Matt?" I asked,

"Our tour manager, Vinny, our other Merch Bitch" He paused to wink at me "Is with him, his real name's Matt Flyzik, but well… you'll see when he gets here" He laughed, I just looked confused.

"Tell her about Matt yet?" Alex asked, appearing from his apparent tense phone call, I knew this because I was looking at him; he was pacing and using quick hand gestures. In Alexander world this equalled Pissed.

"Yupp, but she'll have to wait for the Mickeyness" Jack winked at me again, that boy knew how to make me uncomfortable.

So we waited, and waited…

About half an hour later (I wasn't sure, but Jack was moaning for food and whispering to me about us taking Zack down for food as he was the meatiest).

A van pulled up, it was small, about a 12 seater.

Of course Alex had to put the luggage in, I refused, and everyone just blamed him for the excess, who needed six suitcases anyway?

I tried to far away from Jack and Alex, but I ended up between them, while Vinny and Matt (I will explain Mickeyness later) clamed the front row, while Rian and Zack sat up front, taking turns in driving.

It was so cramped back there, with all our suitcases (Thanks, Alex, thanks a whole frinkin bunch) and all the merch, I got bored and started to plait Jack's blonde bit in his hair, but he feel asleep so I ended doing all of it. Man it'll be so frizzy when he wakes up.

"Squirrel get some rest" Alex murmured against my neck, he'd started to snuggle up to me, claiming me as his pillow.

"Suree" I mumbled, resting my head against Alex's head.

The next thing I knew Jack was shaking me,

"" He shouted in my ear,

"I swear to god, someone get him away from me" I muttered, rubbing my eyes, my neck felt stiff from leaning against god knows what for the whole ride.

"We're here" Alex whispered into my ear, making my hair stand on end from his hot breath on my neck.

"Mm kay" I said, snuggling against his arm, I heard him chuckle then try and pry my hands off his arms,

"C'mon Taylor," He laughed,

"Alex, I think you need to kiss her awake" Jack said, prodding my cheeks, I blushed.

"Why Jack?" Alex said,

"Sleeping Beauty!" Jack shouted,

Wait… no, Alex couldn't kiss me.

"Would it make you happy Jack?"

"Yes, Alex it would"

"Fine" Alex muttered, I held my breath, and then he pressed his lips against mine. I could feel everyone's eyes on us, even though mine were shut.

Alex moved away, and then my eyes opened, clearly in shock.

"Yay! It worked" Jack laughed,

"Alex I told you not to kiss me again!" I moaned,

"Again? Wait…what?" Jack asked, looking from me to Alex over and over.

"Yeah, we kissed when we were like… 12?" Alex said, laughing, I could see him remising.

When we were 12, Alex and I went through an awkward stage of two best friends, trying to be something more. Yeah, we kissed (a lot) and we'd say we were dating, but I'd moved before it became serious, and anyway; Alex forgot about it as soon as I left.

"Hmm" Jack murmured, looking intently at me. I could practically see the wheels turning in his brain, wow that kid is fucked up.

"Well, Kiddies, please leave the bus, we're here" Rian called from the driver's seat.

"Be careful Rian, you sound like Matt there" Jack laughed, skipping ( I know) away from Matt's and Rian's reach.

I laughed and walked into the hotel we were staying at for the weekend, they had two shows in London tomorrow and Saturday.

"I CALL SINGLE ROOM!" I shouted, earning glares from the people inside,

we all laughed.

**Oh, and yes, Ava will be back, muahahahahaaaaa. **

**P.s If anyone wants to know what's happening and can help with my filler dilamea PM meh. :3**


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter made me sad... but I wrote using Boys Like Girls - Thunder and Great Escape, so if you play them while reading this, it might help you. :3**

**Thanks Cant Be Saved, You are my favourite.**

**I don't own anything I use but my own ideas, and I will get Steve to hunt you down if you even think of robbing without asking. **

**Taylor's POV,**

I collapsed on the bed, I had a single room, but I was joining onto Alex and Zack and Rian. Across the hall were Vinny, Jack and Matt.

"Squirrel!" Alex called from his room, man; this is going to get old quickly…

"What Gaskank?" I called back, shifting through my clothes for something nice for dinner.

"Can I borrow you're shower? Rian's stole mine" He muttered, wiping away fake tears as he walked into my room,

"Sure" I said, pointing at the door, "Don't use all the hot water"

"'kay," He said, walking to the door.

I sighed, shaking my head, that boy…

I was still searching for the right clothes when I remembered I left a pile of my clothes in the bathroom after my shower, I wanted to have one tomorrow morning too.

I didn't want Alex searching through my underwear, so I quickly opened the door slightly; Alex was still in the shower, hidden behind the curtain, singing along shamelessly.

Okay… I tiptoed into the bathroom… my clothes were just in front of me; I grabbed them and started to run out. The water came off, I moved faster, but tripped on some water and slammed my head into the basin.

"Taylor?" I heard someone call, and then I slipped away into blackness.

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"Hey, c'mon wake up" Alex murmured into my ear, then I felt a coldness and really wet which spread to my bones, someone chucked water on me.

"Hey!" I shouted, sitting up too fast, my head started spinning.

"Shh" Alex said, pushing me back down, my head hit the pillow.

"My head hurts" I muttered, holding my head,

"Yeah, you slipped while sneaking a look" Alex winked at me, only the humour didn't show in his eyes, or soften his face's lines.

"I wasn't!" I protested, "I wanted my clothes!"

"Sureee"

I death glared at Alex, he chuckled and moved me so my head lay in his lap, he cradled my head.

"It hurts" I moaned, burying my face in his hands,

"I know, I know" He said, softly, kissing my forehead.

I felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, Alex sighed and took it out, he shook his head and put it down,

"Who's that?" I asked, leaning on my elbows to lift myself up so he could answer,

"Just Ava" he murmured, pushing me back down, "Rest Taylor"

"Buut, don't you want to call her back?"

"No"

I sighed, resting my head on his hands, he started playing with my hair, I felt myself drifting off, then Alex leaned down, I guess he meant to kiss my forehead, but I moved and he ended up kissing my lips.

This woke me up instantly; I moved up, we didn't break apart until seconds later.

We both were gasping, looking into his eyes, then he cupped my face and started to kiss me, I twisted my hands in his hair, he wrapped him arms around my waist, pulling me closer to his body.

He slipped his hands into the back of my top, his hands were cold and they made me shiver but soon my own body warmth made them hot.

Within moments Alex slipped me out of my top and he'd managed to unbutton my jeans, I started to unbutton his top with shaking hands, it's not as easy as it sounds, kissing someone as you tried to undress them.

I somehow managed, as Alex moved us off the bed so he could strip my skinny jeans. Once again, it's IMPOSSIBLE to take off skinny jeans sexily…

"Are you sure" Alex whispered into my ear, I nodded, afraid to break the spell.

We feel back onto the bed.

I woke up with the sun on my bed; Alex was tracing patterns on the naked skin.

I snuggled into his chest.

"Good morning" Alex murmured, I sighed, and I knew this would end,

"Hey" I smiled, sifting onto my elbow's so I could see his face, and it looked blank… and pretty much emotionless. I froze; he obviously felt the difference in my body and moved his hand so it was no longer touching me.

"I'd better leave" Alex muttered, climbing out of the bed, he sighed then bent down to grab his clothes.

Then he left.

I was still frozen, from the moment he left, and then I collapsed, sobbing into my pillow.

I knew! I knew it, Alex was a man-whore, but I gave him me… everything.

Time passed, but I made no move in doing anything, Jack called in seeing if I was hungry but I ignored him. I couldn't see anyone, I felt so stupid and like a giant failure, and I thought Alex liked me, he made the signs, whenever we spoke he would say things that made me think… how did we go from best friends to nothing more than a one-night stand deeply regretted by one party, and the other who wanted to forget it, but was to scared to lose the last memory.

"TAYLORKINS!" Jack screamed, jumping on my bed.

"What?" I asked, keeping my voice low so it couldn't crack,

"We're all going to see the venue, as our sexy Merch Bitch, you must come" He smiled,

"Okay…" I sighed, grabbing a dressing gown and wrapping it around my body before getting out of bed.

"See you in ten" Jack smiled, leaving so I could change.

I sighed, I knew this moment would come, I dug through my clothes, putting on whatever I could get my hands on, brushing my hair and cleaning my teeth, I paused to put some eyeliner on and slipping my lip ring in before leaving.

I walked down to the lobby were everyone was waiting, I saw Alex first who stood staring at me, I blushed deeply before hiding behind Zack making it look like I wanted to chat to Matt.

This day is going to be long…


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry guy's this is late, so will be Remembering Sunday as I went to see my friends band play for the first time last night then I had to get up really early to go to this mock court traila thang which we got through to Nationals. 3**

**keep reviewing they make me smile when I check them before I go to school, SO LETS KEEP KATIE IN A GOOD MOOD!**

**I do not own anything**

**Taylor's POV;**

Alex was still staring at me, and unluckily the merch stand was right in front of the stage on the other side of the room.

"Hey, Taylor where's the tops?" Vinny called from the backstage greenroom. (No, it's not green, yes I cried)

"Um…" I said, trying to search through the boxes we had piled up.

I reached for a higher one, when the bottom one collapsed, I couldn't move fast enough, but just before they all fell on me, a pair of hands dragged me away quickly, pulling me into their chest.

"It seems I'm always saving you" Alex murmured into my hair,

I froze; it was Alex who grabbed me.

"I don't need your help" I said stiffly, pushing him away.

He chuckled, and then grabbed me, I tried to fight him off but he was too strong.

"Taylor, after what happened… why don't you want me?" Alex whispered, staring directly into my eyes.

"You left" I said, trying to stop myself falling into his embrace and eyes.

"Taylor… it's because… can we talk alone?" He asked everyone else was looking at us; Alex let me go and laughed, trying to act as if it was a giant show.

I nodded, pushing him away as jokingly as possible as I could manage.

I saw Jack eye me strangely, and then he shrugged.

"Meet me in the back room" Alex mouthed to me on stage, and held his hands up to say 'fifteen'. I nodded.

The next fifteen minutes felt like the next fifteen years of my life.

"Hey, I'm just going to go toilet" I whispered to Vinny, the kid's were just about to be let in.

"Sure, be back soon" Vinny smiled, I nodded, and ran quickly to the green room,

It was empty besides Alex who was strumming on his acoustic.

I walked next to him, my hands in my pockets, afraid to speak.

"Hey" Alex said softly,

"Hey" I replied, Alex stood up and wrapped his arms around me.

"Taylor, we've always been great friends…" He started, and then I shook my head,

"I don't want this Alex! You will always be my best friend! Nothing you can say will change that"

Alex smiled, "I have no intention of doing that"

I smiled – I couldn't help myself.

"But what about Ava?"

"We're still together"

I paused, "What? Wait… I'm so confused"

Alex just laughed, "Taylor, we'll always be friends, we don't have to date… but I won't take any girls on tour with me…"

He didn't have to say anything; I already knew what he was getting at.

"Alex, why would you even think of that?" I demanded,

Alex blushed, "We both have needs…"

"I was a virgin until you came along"

Alex just smiled weakly, "C'mon Taylor, it means nothing",

"But maybe not to you…" I felt like saying, but I didn't I just nodded.

He smiled, and then hugged me.

I felt weird, and dirty, but I still loved Alex, would you give up something like this if you were in the same position?

I sighed, and then left the room, just as the kids were let in.

A few seconds later Alex joined the guys onstage.

"Hey UK! We're All Time Low!" Alex shouted into the mic,

Then they started playing. I smiled at Vinny, they were really really good!

He just smirked and started dancing.

Soon the gig ended, I hadn't stopped laughing, as Vinny was a great guy.

"Hey guys! We are All Time Low and this is our last song!" Alex smiled as people sighed and booed, "This is to the one girl I missed for so long, THIS IS NOEL!"

Then they started playing, Vinny just looked at me,

"What?" I said, after it got annoying.

"You know this is about you" Vinny smirked at my blank face.

"Oh" I blushed.

The guys finished and came out to hang around in the merch stall, I tried to keep myself busy too stay away from Alex for the moment being.

I managed too until we got back to the hotel. I went to grab a shower.

I was just getting in the shower when the door burst open.

"ARR!" I screamed, ducking to grab a towel.

Alex just burst out laughing on the floor.

"Not funny!" I moaned, "Now, LEAVE!"

"I'm joining you" He smirked, I sighed.

I guess this is how it goes…


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello everyone, This chapter made me sad... really . bad . :(**

**Okay, the lryics aren't mine they are Avril Lavigne- Nobody's Home. 3**

**I do not own anything I say bands or brands. ONLY MY OWN IDEAS. **

**Taylor's POV:**

Alex left shortly after we woke up.

I hated being alone, like this in this position leaves everything that I bury in my head jump right out and attack me.

I sighed, lying on the bed waiting for the time to pass….

**(Okay, Skip a while; I'm not going to even try to figure out the dates. So basically, ATL went home toAmericato tour,Taylorcame with them. xD)**

_I couldn't tell you,_

_Why she felt that way,_

_She felt it every day,_

_And I couldn't help her,_

_I just watched her make,_

_The same mistakes again._

I woke up to Jack jumping in my bunk.

"Heeey!TAYLOR!" Jack screamed, waking me up.

I mumbled and rubbed my eyes. I saw Alex wink at me from his bunk which was directly across from mine.

I sighed and got up, I was used to this wake-up, Jack then pranced his way to the front lounge, where I saw Ava sitting on the sofa, smirking at me.

"Good morning" I said smugly, I was sleeping with her boyfriend. She can smirk all she likes.

_What's wrong what's wrong now?_

_Too many too many problems,_

_Don't know where she belongs,_

_Where she belongs._

Jack sat next to me; he frowned, and took my hand and dragged me into the bathroom.

"Taylor, what's up?" He asked,

I shook my head, "Nothing".

Everyone always asked me this, but how do you explain feeling nothing?

I just cut off everything soon after me and Alex started.

I didn't need the feelings on top of everything.

_She wants to go home,_

_But nobody's home,_

_That's where she lies,_

_Broken inside,_

_With no place to go,_

_To dry her eyes,_

_Broken inside._

I smiled forcibly, and hugged Jack, "Thanks for looking out for me, Jack-attack" I kissed his cheek.

"Okay, Tay-Tay" He laughed, becoming the devil-may-care Jack we all knew and loved.

"I'm just gonna get a quick shower" I said, pushing him to the door.

"Sureee, you don't want me to watch?" Jack mocked,

"I'm sure" I winked.

_Open your eyes,_

_And look outside,_

_Find the reasons why,_

_You've been rejected,_

_Now you can't find,_

_What you've left behind,_

_Be strong be strong now,_

_Too many problems, too many problems,_

_Don't know where she belongs,_

_Where she belongs._

Jack left and I grabbed some clothes and towels.

I turned the tap on and stepped under the hot water, I calmed, breathing slower and slower.

I washed and cleaned my hair and body; just as I got out I looked at my razor,

I reached for it, and held it in my fingers, running the blade softly across the tips.

_Her feeling she hides,_

_Her dreams she can't find,_

_She's losing her mind,_

_She can't find her place._

I gasped quickly as I dug it into my wrist. I quickly cut another line perfectly across my wrist.

I sunk to the floor, holding my wrist watching as the blood pooled out.

At least know I can feel something I thought bitterly.

_She's losing her faith,_

_She's falling from grace,_

_She's all over the place,_

_Yeah,_

_She's lost inside lost inside_

_She's lost inside lost inside._

I got out of the shower and put my razor back where it belonged.

I dried and got dressed carefully without trying to smear everywhere.

I quickly doused the blood on the shower floor.

The first time I cut myself I was at home a few weeks before theAmericatour, Steve was hitting me more and more and one day I realised, it was the only time I could feel.

So here we are.

I didn't tell anyone, they'd lock me away and think of me as nothing more than another emo cutter.

I sighed and walked out to meet the guys before the gig.


	10. Chapter 10

**Aren't you lucky! Two uploads in one days. I'll try to make it 3 so I can let you guys get to where I'm writing in this story.**

**Much love,**

**I don't own much**

**Taylor's POV.**

I tried to smile at the nonsense Vinny was saying at the gig.

"Hey,Taylor, when you heading home?" Vinny asked as I got an ATL top for a pretty girl of about 13.

"Um, 2 weeks?" I said, I wasn't sure. "Here ya go" I smiled to the young girl.

Vinny nodded, "You think Alex's is going to be a man and ask you out before?"

I blushed, everyone thought me and Alex liked each other, if they only knew…

"One; we don't like each other, two; Ava?" I said, facing away so he couldn't see my face.

"Then why do you guys run off into dark corners hm?"

If only you knew Vinny…

I just chuckled and shook my head.

Vinny didn't say much; let's just say All Time Low where more popular over here then in my home nation.

"Goodbye LA! We are All Time Low!" Alex called from stage.

I laughed at Vinny who tripped over a box.

I walked back to the bus to put the boxes away when someone wrapped their arms around my waist, almost making me drop the boxes.

"Hey" Alex murmured into my ear.

"Hey baby, weren't you just on stage?" I asked, stroking his hair,

"Yup, I ran to get you, want to walk on the beach?"

"Sure" I smiled. Chucking everything in the back.

"JUST GOING TO THE BEACH WITH 'LEX!" I called to everyone.

We arrived back really late, but the beach walk was pretty and starry.

"HEY!" I called, from the front lounge, but no one came out to greet us.

"Hm, must be out" I mumbled,

"Well…" Alex said, grabbing me by the waist,

I laughed as we kissed.

"Mmm" Alex murmured, slipping his hands up the back of my top.

Then the door opened.

"WHAT?" I heard Jack shout,

We broke apart; I was blushing and biting my lip.

Ava walked in and slapped me, I didn't move to stop her, and I just stood there watching as everyone else's eyes filled with hurt at us sneaking around.

"What." Jack repeated.

I fled from the room with tears streaming down my eyes.

I grabbed all my clothes and shoved them messily in my bag, not caring to see if I left anything.

I waited in my bunk until I heard the fight end and everyone head to bed before I slipped out and started to run.

I won't be coming back.

**Alex POV;**

I was waked up by the slamming of our door; I walked outside hoping no crazy fan girls had broken in.

But it was still dark; on the table was a white note.

I shrugged and opened it; it was addressed to all of us.

_Dear All Time Low,_

_I'm leaving, sorry to everyone I've hurt._

_I won't be coming back, I'm so sorry._

_LoveTaylor._

The writing was smudged from tears; the word's blurred from my view.

I saw a quickly running figure far away.

I rushed out, screaming, "TAYLOR!"


	11. Chapter 11

**Last upload of the night; I hope you love it just as much as I hope you will even though I'm not the best. :3**

**I don't own anything. **

**OH and when you review tell me fo shizzle about yourself!**

**My name's Katie, **

**I'm 13 **

**I love music. 3**

**Taylor POV.**

"Taylor! Wait!" Alex called behind me, I stopped, closing my eyes and letting the cold rain fall on my face, washing my tears with it.

"What?" I whispered, shivering inwardly at the hot breath at my neck when he wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Why are you leaving us?" He whispered, nuzzling against my neck.

I don't think he realised that I was going to leave- him.

The closeness of his body was both alluring and annoying. I shook my hair into my face and tried to look fierce.

"Why,Taylor?" He murmured, turning my body to face him,

I looked straight down, refusing to make eye contact with those deep brown eyes.

Alex cupped my face and brought my chin up, our eyes connected.

"Just let go, Alex" I said, pushing his hands away, trying not to let my finger's linger on his.

Alex just looked at me, showing the old friendship we used to have – I should've known he'd think he could just barge in and kiss me, touch me without needing any reason or any love, just lust. I needed something more than that.

"Why Squirrel? We used to be able to talk here, mouthing off about the world!" He sad laughed, reminiscing.

"Because I LOVE YOU!" I cried passionately.

But everything he'd said was true; here by the docks onThames Streetwe used to come and talk about everything.

Before I left Alex sneaked some drinks down here.

We felt so cool; nothing could stop us.

"What?" Alex choked out; I turned my back on him.

Just breathe slowly, just breathe, I chanted he'd leave soon enough.

"Remember when we walked along the beach in the stars?" Alex whispered a few seconds later, I nodded.

"When I said 'overdressed and underage'?" again, I nodded.

Then out of nowhere Alex spun me around –causing water to splatter up my jeans- and kissed me forcefully, I was surprised and almost fell backwards, but Alex was holding onto me tightly.

"Alex" I managed before he kissed me again.

He wrapped his arms tighter and tighter around me.

"NO!" I screamed, trying my best to fight him off.

Alex let me go, something in his deep brown eyes completely shattered in a few instants.

"Taylor, I think I lov-" I cut him off,

"Save it, Alex" I said, turning away and grabbing my bags.

"No,Taylor, I mean it, I really lov-"

I started to walk away, his words where soon drowned out by the rain.

I called a cab and as I drove away I saw Alex standing in the rain; his clothes a few shades darker and sticking to his body, his brown hair turned black and slick on his face, and his broken haunted brown eyes.

"Just drive" I whispered, tears falling quickly down my cheeks.

And that is how Alex Gaskarth left my life.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hello, **

**I saw the anonamoose who reviewed, yes it is, BUT IT GETS HAPPY REAL SOON!**

**Cant Be Saved, HAHAH I am 13, why did you think otherwise?**

**Anyways, I am into everything, (spect Justin Bieber shit) and I enjoy writing. I am pale, about 5 stone 13, and 5"3 and I have black shoulder length hair and a full fringe. xD**

**Anyways, enjoy**

**Taylor's POV.**

**2010.**

"Lean to the side, yes now smile… PERFECT!" The photographer Dave said, waving his hand to the right. I smiled sultry and leaned against the column.

Here in 2010 I was an alternative-fashion model, drop dead, cupcake cult, band merch, I did them all.

Right now I was modelling some Criminal damage skinny jeans and a ghost tee, the best perk? I got to keep everything, you should see my wardrobe.

It's fucking awesome.

"So Taylor, honey we have this band shirt" Dave winked at me as I stripped off my shirt – I didn't care if anyone saw my body, if you saw it then you saw it.

Then the make-up artist held up my hair so I didn't screw it up when I put the shirt on.

I smiled my thanks as she quickly brushed some gloss over my lips.

I walked back to the backdrop then looked down at the shirt.

I stopped in my tracks.

It was the new All Time Low shirt for the Kerrang! Tour later this month.

"Oh" I whispered huskily, ghost's of tears haunting my eyes.

"Taylor, baby c'mon" Dave said, beckoning me closer.

"Sorry" I said, breathing in deeply and smiling.

I took the top off and threw it across the stage.

I pulled my The Blackout Kerrang! Tour tee on and grabbed my coat and the pile of clothes that were now mine.

I got about five feet outside the studio before Kelsey **(YEAH YOU! Sorry, you've helped me so I added you)** the wardrobe artist came chasing after me.

"Hey! Taylor! You left this!" She shouted, holding the top high.

"Oh" I fake smiled, grabbing it from her grasp, "Don't know what I'd be without it".

"Sure, see you soon Taylor" She smiled and walked back into the studio.

I sighed and shoved the top messily into the bag I held.

The walk home was full of dark thoughts; I almost had to force myself away from the bathroom when I got home.

"Hey Babe!" My boyfriend Olli called as the door slammed behind him.

Ah, Olli… well where do I begin?

So basically, when I got home I lived my life, as you can tell, my friend (Olli) was working with me on a photo shoot when a photographer said we had great chemistry. Next thing Olli asked me out, and here we are. I feel kind of like a bitch, as I'm not totally 'into' Olli. I still see him as a great friend.

"Hi" I said weakly, grabbing a drink as he wrapped his arms around me from the back.

"I missed you" He murmured, kissing my cheek then dropping and leading a trail of hot kisses to my shoulder.

"I missed you too" I whispered, lying like this was annoying.

"Want to go upstairs?" He asked,

I nodded as he took my hand and pulled me into our bedroom.

I woke up the next morning, I sighed when I realised why this seemed so familiar, with Olli drawing patterns on my back.

I cleared my throat and sat up; Olli smiled and held me close.

"Guess what?" He whispered into my ear,

I shrugged; I wasn't much of a guesser.

Olli smiled, "I got us tickets to see the Kerrang! Tour, I know how much you like

The Blackout"

I gulped and nodded, I did, but All Time Low where touring with them…

"It's going to be so much fun, I mean, You'll also like this other band, called All Time Low, and I mean , Their song Six Feet Under The Stars, It's soooo good." Olli started to say, I blocked him out after awhile.

Yes, I knew who All Time Low where, actually I toured with them, and…

I slept with the lead. Countless times,

And then left him.

"Are you excited?" He said, kissing me,

I nodded, unable to speak.

No one in my new life knew about any of the All Time Low stuff that happened in my earlier life, and I planned to keep it that way.

"I love you" He whispered, holding me close,

I nodded.

I got changed and went downstairs, the London date I was going to go to was only a few days away. I felt so stupid! I should've known he'd do something like that, I mean I moaned about not seeing The Blackout so many times and this tour had one of the best bills ever… I mentally kicked myself. A lot.

"Hai beautiful" Olli said, kissing my back.

"Hey, I've got to go shopping" I murmured, grabbing my coat.

He nodded and hugged me close for a few seconds, then I fled out the door.

I breathed in deep. In the years where I'd made something of myself, could it already be crashing down around me?


	13. Chapter 13

**Taaadaa! Well, looks like this is coming to an end, unless I sequel it, but atm it doesn't look like an option.**

**I love reading everyone's comments, so the person who actually puts the 25 (I'm aiming stoopidly I know) will get me to write a One-Shot of their choice about anyone of my 2 stories, anything you want me to write. LOVE YOU!**

**Thank to the people who say I seem older. LOLOL I wish, then I could have Alex to myself... **

**Enjoy my lovelyss**

**Taylor POV.**

"Good morning" Olli shouted, jumping on the bed, waking me up instantly.

"Hey, five more minutes…" I mumbled,

"No! It's the gig today! Wakey wakey!"

"It's only 3am."

Okay, one good thing about being a self-hired model – loads of days of to go start the queues at venues.

Olli wanted to get there uber early so we could get the best spot for the actual stage. Also, some bands came out and met the fan's who queued first.

Olli dragged me out of bed, I swear we were more like a gay best-friend relationship than a real relationship, but I loved Olli, just not the way he wanted.

"Okay, okay I'm up, happy?" I asked,

"Yupp" He said, his lips popping on the 'p'.

I smiled and playfully slapped him, "Get dressed" I winked to him as I disappeared into the shower.

"Sure!" I heard him call before I turned the water on.

Under the hot water my muscles relaxed and I forgot the trouble in my life and get washed.

Just before I got out I saw my razor sitting on the side, I was about to reach for it, but I shook my head and forced myself to walk out.

"Hai" Olli smiled, he was wearing black skinnies and my All Time Low top and vans.

"Hi, I'm just going to get dressed and do my hair and we'll go" I smiled, grabbing my Blackout tee and my blue skinnies with black stars on.

We left about half 3.

Luckily hardly anyone was up so we got to London about 5ish.

No one was in the queue. We were the first; I started to smile bigger and bigger.

We ran full pelt to the doors, were a queue should be started, of course.

We stood there for ages before people started to arrive, so I was wondering around after awhile, I have a terrible attention span.

"C'mon Taylor!" Olli shouted as screams erupted from near the front, I looked back to see Sean from The Blackout walking around signing stuff, and with him was….

Jack Barakat.

I stood by Olli's side trying to push my hair into my face, hoping he wouldn't see me, one part of me hoped he didn't still hate me, and that he would see me and hug me and then I'd be of all the envy of the fan girls…

I sighed and then Sean came up to us,

"Well, hello queue starters!" He smiled, and then he reached out and took my hand and signed it.

"Hi Sean" I smiled, hugging him; he was a really good hugger.

"Wow, did you go to another date? You have a tour shirt, so does your boyfriend, 'course, it's not my bands, but I wont hold that against you" He winked at Olli,

"I'm a model, I was the one who did the female shot's for the ATL and Blackout tour shirts" I smiled,

"Ah, I thought you're chest looked familiar" he winked at my blush.

I laughed at the awkwardness that descended,

"Hey Jacko! Come here; check out our tour shirt model!" Sean called,

I must've looked scared as Sean chuckled and whispered, "he doesn't bite"

"What's up Sean? Woah! Taylor?" Jack screamed, picking me up and spinning me around.

"Yes Jack! Now please but me down" I laughed,

"No" Jack murmured pulling me close, "We all miss you, but mostly Alex…"

"Please Jack, don't tell him I'm here" I whispered,

"Tay-Tay, He's not himself… he hasn't since you've left…"

"Please Jack" I said, looking straight into his eyes.

"Okay, oh and you're boyfriend? I think he's gay"

I laughed, Olli had eyes like saucers.

"Um, Olli, this is Jack Barakat, an old friend, Jack this is my boyfriend Olli" I said, trying to hide my smirk.

"Hi, I'm Olli" He said, I looked around to see the glares of people, mostly at me.

Go away, I felt like saying.

Jack pulled Olli into a big bear hug, "You hurt her, and I'll get Merrick and Dawson on your ass"

Olli gulped.

"Jack! Stop freaking out my boyfriend!" I laughed, mock punching him.

"Wells, I have to go sound check, want me to get you in early with the Hustlers?"

Jack winked,

"You know I'm a Hustler, and I don't need a meet and greet" I said sticking my hand up to show my ATL Hustler band.

"Oh, rights. SEE YOU SOON!" Jack said, hugging me close one more time before skipping off with Sean back into the venue.

Okay, well I basically owned everything ATL that you could possibly get, I hid them in a wardrobe in my room. The guys would send me everything through my mum, they hadn't stopped.

I had everything and, don't tell ATL obsesses, but the only known copy of Three Words To Dealing With The End.

Olli just stood staring at me just like everyone else.

"You know All Time Low?" he whispered,

I nodded, "I was their Merch Bitch at some point"

"Wow" Some near-by girl whispered, "Is Alex as bitchy as everyone says?"

I laughed, "No, he's a great guy… they all are"


	14. Chapter 14

**Hello, I hope this doesn't seem rushed... I JUST DIDNT GO TO THE KERRANG TOUR SO I DIDNT KNOW.**

**Buut I used the stuff when I saw ATL and Young Guns in March. Best Night EVER!**

**Love yous.**

**Taylor's POV.**

During the sound check we could hear them playing Weightless inside, so everyone was soon singing along. I smiled and hugged Olli. The atmosphere was amazing, everyone was so friendly and everyone wanted to know about my Merch Bitching for ATL.

"So, after that tour I came home and then I became a Model, I haven't seen the guys in ages as I was always busy" I said, glossing over the whole 'whore-friendship' and the real reason I left.

"Ohm god, you're so lucky!" One pretty blonde whispered, I smiled and nodded.

A security guard came up to us and asked if we got an email, I shook my head, telling him I was early entering with Olli.

"Sure, come this way Miss" He winked; he was a pretty funny guy.

I smiled and followed him with Olli to the venue.

Our bags were searched and our tickets had the ends ripped off, okay I say searching but they just stuck a hand in my bag and pushed my stuff to one side.

"THIS WAY TAY!" Olli shouted, pulling me into the door that said 'circle'.

We ran straight down, we were the only ones here, and we ended up right in the middle by the rail as everyone else came crashing in, we were soon surrounded.

The venue started playing songs, Bon Jovi's Livin' on a Prayer came on, we were all singing along, then P!nk.

Then the lights dimmed, the band came on, I couldn't catch their name, but it totally started a moshpit, I ended up with some elbows in my face, but it was one of the best crowd's I'd been in so far. Another band came on, this was Young Guns, they were really really good and they left before long.

The crowd began chanting 'we are the dynamite'

Sean and Gavin came crashing onstage, Sean shouted, "HELLO LONDON!"

He was met by tons of screams, one clearly said 'Sean marry me!'

They played all my favourites and I was singing along and jumping in the moshpit, I was so excited, my night had truly been made, until Sean and Gavin said in unison, 'GOODNIGHT LONDON! YOU ROCKED IT! STAY THIS FUCKING AWEOSME FOR ALL TIME LOW!"

People around cheered, as I stood frozen by the rails with Olli, he snaked an arm around me.

All Time Low didn't come straight on; soon more songs were playing,

I watched as the crew put stuff on and off, soon someone brought a toy cow and was making it dance from behind a huge amp.

We were all cheering the cow on; soon an All Time Low chant started.

They walked on, screams erupted, bras where thrown.

**Alex POV.**

I could hear the crowd's wall of screams hit us as we walked onstage, Jack seemed extra jumpy for some reason he wouldn't tell me.

"Hi London!" I shouted, "This is Lost In Stereo" I smiled and winked,

The moshpit started.

I couldn't help notice someone in the crowd who looked so familiar… she was just in the middle right in front of me, by the railing, obviously a Hustler if she got that far front.

I couldn't figure it out who she reminded me off…

"Okay, guys" I said half-way through our set, "This song is about a girl who I loved, but she left me, I still love her and hope she's here tonight, if she is, Squirrel, I love you, I wish you'd let me say it last time" I whispered into the mic, "THIS IS SIX FEET UNDER THE STARS!"

**Taylor POV.**

Alex started to sing softly, I still stood frozen from what he said.

_'Time to lay claim to the evidence_  
><em>Fingerprints sold me out<em>  
><em>But our footprints washed away from the docks downtown<em>  
><em>It's been getting late for days<em>  
><em>And I think myself deserving of a little time off<em>  
><em>We can kick it hang for hours<em>  
><em>And just mouth off about the world<em>  
><em>And how we know it's going straight to hell<em>

_Pass me another bottle, honey_  
><em>The Jager's so sweet<em>  
><em>But if it keeps you around then I'm down<em>

_Meet me on Thames Street_  
><em>I'll take you out though I'm hardly worth your time<em>  
><em>In the cold you look so fierce, but I'm warm enough<em>  
><em>Because the tension's like a fire<em>  
><em>We'll hit South Broadway in a matter of minutes<em>  
><em>And like a bad movie, I'll drop a line<em>  
><em>Fall in the grave I've been digging myself<em>  
><em>But there's room for two<em>  
><em>Six feet under the stars<em>

_I should have known better than to call you out_  
><em>(On a night like this, a night like this)<em>  
><em>If not for you, I know I'd tear this place to the ground<em>  
><em>(But I'm alright like this, alright like this)<em>  
><em>I'm gonna roll the dice before you sober up and get gone<em>  
><em>(I'm always in over my head)<em>

_Thames Street_  
><em>I'll take you out though I'm hardly worth your time<em>  
><em>In the cold you look so fierce, but I'm warm enough<em>  
><em>Because the tension's like a fire<em>  
><em>We'll hit South Broadway in a matter of minutes<em>  
><em>And like a bad movie, I'll drop a line<em>  
><em>Fall in the grave I've been digging myself<em>  
><em>But there's room for two<em>  
><em>Six feet under the stars<em>

_Time to lay claim to the evidence_  
><em>Fingerprints sold me out<em>  
><em>But our footprints washed away<em>  
><em>I'm guilty, but I'm safe for one more day<em>  
><em>Overdressed and underage (what a let down)<em>  
><em>"Do you really need to see an ID?"<em>  
><em>This is embarrassing as hell (what a let down)<em>  
><em>But I can cover for it so well<em>  
><em>When we're six feet under the stars<em>

_Thames Street_  
><em>I'll take you out though I'm hardly worth your time<em>  
><em>In the cold you look so fierce, but I'm warm enough<em>  
><em>Because the tension's like a fire<em>  
><em>We'll hit South Broadway in a matter of minutes<em>  
><em>And like a bad movie, I'll drop a line<em>  
><em>Fall in the grave I've been digging myself<em>  
><em>But there's room for two<em>  
><em>Six feet under the stars<em>  
><em>Six feet under the stars<em>  
><em>Six feet under the stars'<em>

Wait… was that song about me?

No.. No way…

But it was.


	15. Chapter 15

**Hai guys!**

**Yes, yes yes yes IT'S UP! It's really close to the end, so after this, Remembering Sunday and my BVB fanfic that I just uploaded on here are finished I'll be finishing off my non-fanfic pieces. which will take awhile. SO ENJOY.**

**ps; check out 'heres to your perfect weapon' and my nevershoutnever fanfic oneshot 'what is love'**

**Pps: REVIEW! :***

**Taylor POV.**

Alex looked through the crowd, he paused on me I think, or maybe it was my imagination running away with me.

I quickly started to push through people to get out of the crowd, I suddenly felt claustrophobic, everything was getting overwhelming, I couldn't breath, it was so hot with everyone pushing me into the railing, I couldn't move, I couldn't…. I couldn't do anything.

"Move" I shouted over the noise, pushing people away, they didn't care, they had eye's all staring at the stage.

Olli caught up with me, I was still moving away from the mass crowd, and then I broke free.

I breathed in deeply as people moved forward to cover up the spaces we made.

"Hey, babe you okay?" Olli said, he was hot and sweaty.

"Yeah, it just got… a little too much" I whispered.

Olli pulled me into a hug, "Want a drink?"

I nodded feverishly as he led me to the bar.

We waited out the end of ATL's set, Olli looked like he was really excited at one point when Zack and Jack stripped shirts.

Or, Zack ripped his shirt and Jack tried to copy but failed.

I sighed, my boyfriend…

"Let's go" I said, jumping up from the stool, grabbing his hand.

"Sure, do you want to wait outside for them to come out? You could get a hug?" Olli said, I could practically see him fantasize about a hug from Zack…

I shook my head.

"No, I'm just…. Sleepy" I lied,

Olli nodded his head and we left the venue, loads of people were queuing outside for some reason and it was lovely and cold outside, I sighed happily and rolled my top just up to my bra.

We weaved through the massing crowd when a pair of hands grabbed me,

"You're not going to leave without saying goodbye?" Zack whispered into my ear, holding me tight as the fan's screamed and rushed over.

Rian came from the right and rolled his eyes as no one noticed him,

"We'd better do this inside" Rian said,

"HEY IT'S RIAN DAWSON THE SEXY DRUMMER FROM ALL TIME LOW!" I shouted at the top of my lungs.

Loads of people rushed up to Rian, forgetting me and Zack.

"I'll see you on the other side Dawson" I winked before Zack carried me inside.

We got inside the green room, (YES FINALLY A GREEN GREEN ROOM!) and I noticed Olli wasn't with us.

"Oh shit, we left my boyfriend outside…" I muttered,

Zack rolled his eyes, "The gay one?"

"He's not!... Jack by any chance?"

"Yupp"

At that moment Jack and Rian walked into the room, Jack sorta burst into it while Rian just walked in.

"Smooth Barakitty, smooth" I laughed,

"TAYLOR!" Jack screamed, hugging me tight.

"Jack… can't…. Breath" I said,

"Oh, sorry" Jack said, letting me go.

A awkward silence descending, so I did the awkward turtle.

"What are you doing?" Rian asked in disbelief.

"It's the awkward turtle, you do it in awkward conversations" I said showing him, seconds later Jack was doing it non-stop.

"Hey! Taylor, I'm doing it!" Jack shouted, sounding so pleased with himself.

I chuckled, "Jack-Attack, I know, I know"

Then Alex walked in the room,

"All I can hear from the stage is 'HEY IM DOING THE AWKWARD TURTLE TAYLOR!', what the fuck Jack?" Alex said, then he stopped, eyes going huge when he saw me.

"Taylor" he whispered, rubbing his eyes in disbelief.

"It's really me Alex" I whispered, feeling my cheek's reddened.

"Taylor… I…."

"Guys, c'mon, out" Zack said, grabbing Jack who tried to protest.

They all left leaving me alone with Alex.


	16. Chapter 16

**This may seem likea filler, BUT ITS ACTUALLY ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PARTS. idk why I made Olli gay,, he made himself**

Taylor's** POV;**

"Taylor" Alex whispered, his eyes gleaming,

I stood watching him as he held his hands out towards me, as if he was going to hold me in his arms but decided against it.

"Alex" I said, looking away from his tense posture.

"I…" Alex started then he stopped, looking as if he couldn't quite say what he wanted or he couldn't find the words.

"Alex, I've got a life now, I'm not going to give it up" I said firmly, walking to the door.

"Wait, don't go" He murmured, holding me back.

"Why Alex? Give me one good reason"

"I love you"

I scoffed, "Those three words are the most used words, and they've lost all meaning"

"Okay, how about this" Alex murmured, "You are the only one for me, can I be the only one for you?"

My breath caught, I couldn't believe… after this long he'd just be able to…

"Alex…"

Then he kissed me, I gasped and held onto him, tangling my hands into his hair.

"I missed you… so much" Alex whispered onto my lips.

I nodded as Alex slipped his hands up by top and somehow managed to slip it off over my head.

I started to unbutton his top without thinking, everything felt so right and …. Natural.

I loved and will always love Alexander William Gaskarth.

He picked me up and carried me to the only sofa; I wrapped my legs and arms around him, wishing to just sink right into him.

"God, I'm in love with you so much" Alex kept whispering over and over again.

I was just about to take of his top…

When Sean Smith walked in.

We jumped apart, and then I hid behind Alex's back, because I was still topless.

"Hahaha, Gaskarth?" Sean started laughing, then saw that it was me hidden behind him, "Wait, don't you have a boyfriend?"

I blushed, and Alex spoke up, "Well this is awkward"

I nodded, grabbing the throw off the sofa and wrapping it around my body.

"Can someone hand me my top?" I asked, feeling awkward at the stares directed at my body.

"Haha, Alex don't ruin my fun" Sean joked and winked at me.

I blushed even deeper.

Alex got my top and helped me by holding the throw up while I changed.

"I've got to go" I whispered, I didn't move to kiss goodbye Alex or even touch him as I left.

"Goodbye" I heard Alex whisper as I left.

I stumbled outside, the fresh cold air hitting my face. I breathed in deeply.

I spent awhile looking around for Olli, but he was nowhere to be seen.

I gave up after a while and got a cab home after all, I didn't drive.

I paid the man; "Thanks" I smiled, and walked up to the front door and quickly unlocked it.

Once inside I smiled at the heat, I noticed that the central heating was on; Olli must be inside.

I refused to let my mind dwell on how I cheated on him, and almost ultimately betrayed him in everyway.

I was walking up to the bedroom, expecting Olli to be crashed there when I heard noises.

"What the hell?" I shouted, walking into our bedroom, Olli and some guy broke apart, eyes huge.

I felt sick at what I saw, "Oh god" I whispered, turning away.

I didn't want to believe the signs, but it was here in front of me, on my own bed.

"Taylor…" Olli whispered, standing up and resting his hand on my shoulder.

"Please, go away Olli" I whispered, almost crying.

I ran from the room, tearing streaking down my face.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not homophobic, but when you find out it's your own boyfriend… it's shocking.

It also reminded me of what I did with Alex, and was going to do…

"Taylor, please look at me" Olli whispered, following me as I lay crying on the sofa.

I looked at him, and saw that his blue eyes were red rimmed with sadness.

"I know you never loved me like a boyfriend, and I loved you, but just like you loved me, more like a best friend. I couldn't… admit to myself or anyone else… that I was…"

"Your gay, Olli, It's not a disease, I will always love you like a brother" I whispered, smiling despite my pain.

"Thank you Taylor" Olli smiled, hugging me tight.

I sighed and hugged him back, but the truth was eventful, I was single again.

Just like the last guy I loved had left me.


	17. Chapter 17

**This is almost coming to an end, so enjoy. xD**

**I am happy at what this has become from one stoopid idea.**

**Disclamer; I do not own any bands, brands or as such that I use in this fanfiction. **

**Taylor's POV.**

I sat on the sofa in the early morning, so many problems swirling around in my head.

Something's were clearer than others, but one resounding thing told me simply.

'Your life is fucked up'

"Yupp" I said aloud, popping my lips on the 'p'.

"When in doubt, talk to yourself" I continued.

Olli still was asleep upstairs.

I was all alone.

At around Three, I got dressed and left. I wondered around for ages, finally coming to a stop when I reached the pond in the middle of the park. Someone with blondish brownish hair was sitting on one of the benches- simply watching the world pass before his eyes.

"Hi" I said, sitting next to him, but my eyes trained on the water's edge.

"Hello" Alex whispered back,

I nodded and turned to face him.

Alex looked hung-over; his usually artfully styled mess of his hair was sticking up at weird angles, some stubble creeping over his cheeks, the same clothes from last night but more crumpled and stained. His eyes looked hollow and haunted.

"Rough night, huh?" I asked, running my hand through my hair, flipping my hair out of my eyes.

"Do you know how many songs I've written about you?" Alex demanded, ignoring my comment. I shrugged.

"All of the All Time Low songs have some kind of reference to you, but there's so many just about you… Noel, Six Feet Under The Stars, Remembering Sunday. Walls, Dear Maria, Too Much, Lost In Stereo, That Girl's A Straight Up Hustler, Jasey Rae, The Party Song, The Party Scene, Holly, Vegas, Shameless, Stay Awake…" Ales trailed off, but it was obvious there was more.

"Stop!" I cried, looking away with guilt.

"Too many too even count, and you can't even look at me." He whispered.

I was almost crying and I tried my best not to stare at him and beg him to tell me why, why I was so important to him. To anyone, I wasn't anything special.

"Alex, I'm not… I'm not anything… worthless" I cried, hugging my knees close to me, as if to brace myself for the pain when he left.

"Taylor… you're not worthless… you're my…everything" Alex said, holding me in his arms. I cried more and clung to his top, weaving my fingers through the material.

He hugged me as I shifted into a foetal position in his arms; he kissed my forehead and rested his chin on my head, waiting till the tears ran dry.

"Stay" I whispered, holding him close as he moved as if to stand.

"I'm not going anywhere Tay. I'm right here, just right here" He murmured into my hair.

We stayed there for ages, soon people came by, some old people smiled and watched us, whispering about 'young love' while other people just muttered and glared. I was past caring, it'd taken ages till I finally got Alex Gaskarth back, but I knew it wouldn't stay this way forever. At some point we'd break up, but that was the simple truth of dating a Rock Star, things couldn't last, and I wouldn't put myself through that again and again. So I had to end it before it became more and more of a problem. But for now… for now I could hold Alex without worries. Just for now… just now.

"Hey, Taylor we'd better get back" Alex whispered sometime mid-afternoon.

I nodded; we'd been sitting together for ages,

"When are you leaving again?" I asked, sitting up,

"Tomorrow"

I nodded, I knew this was coming, but I didn't know it was so soon.

"You could come with us?"

"I don't think that'll work out… Anyways, Alex, I want us to be friends, for now" I said, hoping he wouldn't get upset or angry.

He simply nodded, "I will win your trust somehow" He muttered, mostly to himself.

I choose to ignore that comment.

"You should come; still, we all miss you. So much" Alex finally said after a few moments.

I nodded this time, I didn't think anything would go disasterly wrong again.


	18. Chapter 18

**Hai, so the next reviewer WILL get a oneshot of their choice from anyone of my stories. xD LET'S SEE WHO GETS IT!**

**Taylor's POV**

Something was different this tour, I was glad I decided to change my mind and go.

"Hai" Jack said, sitting down next to me, I smiled and waved at him, not completely hearing him clearly as I had ear phones in.

"Hey" I said, taking an ear bud out.

Jack turned awkward, playing with his fingers, in all of my life; I hadn't seen or heard of Jack Bassam Barakat EVER getting embarrassed. It was impossible.

"What's wrong Jack-Attack?" I asked, looking on sceptically.

"Um, well.. Do you remember Ava?"

I nodded… unsure of where this was all going…

"Um, well… Alex just got back with her… she's coming on tour" he whispered, eyeing me for my reaction.

"Oh" I said, I tried to hide my disappointment at Alex getting a girlfriend, but I turned him down –again- he can't hold on forever… But I hoped he would.

"I'm going to go get some food" Jack said, sensing I needed to cry alone.

I nodded, letting him go.

I started to cry; I sniffled and grabbed a tissue. I loved Alex… sometimes things get messed up when you try to do something with the best intentions. I will always love him, and now I just possibly lost all my chances of ever getting the chance to tell him and make him love me back. Then I remembered that there was going to be a huge after-show party tonight. I wiped my eyes and got dressed and did some makeup.

I looked at my reflection, I admit, I wasn't ugly, but I wasn't the most beautiful, my eyes looked broken, a lot like Alex's did on that rainy day… I shook my head, trying to get that memory out of my head.

"Taylorkins! You ready?" Jack called from the front lounge; I got out of the bathroom and walked out.

"Yup, let's go" I said, fake smiling when I saw Alex staring at me.

I ignored him as I walked outside to the small campfire like gathering near where all the buses where parked.

It was warm and friendly, people were laughing and dancing.

I saw the place where the drinks were being pulled and headed over, downing a few shots.

"Hey, slow down beautiful" some guy laughed, holding me from behind,

"Want to dance?" he asked a few seconds later, I nodded and he lead me onto the place where people were dancing. Just as we arrived A Day To Remember- If It Means A Lot To You.

"I'm Chase" the guy smiled, taking me in his arms for the slow song.

"Taylor" I winked, his was pretty okish, long blonde hair that swept across his blue eyes. I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder.

We danced for a little longer, I saw Alex dancing with Ava, who made me kiss Chase on the lips, he obviously liked it and held me closer for another.

"Want to come back to my bus?" I asked,

"You're a musician?"

"Merch Bitch" I whispered into his ear, I felt drunk and slightly weird.

Rian and Zack were watching me closely like parents.

"I like the sound of… that" Chase said as I pulled him away from the gathering to our bus.

This carried on for the next few weeks, most of the time spent drunk. I didn't understand why, but I guess it's my way of coping.

"Taylor… what's happened to you?" Alex whispered on night, slipping into my bunk.

"Nothing" I snapped, turning away from his pleading eyes.

"You know, I was just like you, after you left… one night stands, drinking… it's not worth it…."

"Alex, if I needed your help, I'd ask, now I want to sleep, please leave" I snapped, pushing him out of my bunk and turning my back to the opening.

I heard him sigh and push the curtain back across.

I fell asleep crying, my dreams were plagued with Ava and Alexlings, me watching as they grew old together.

I woke up the next morning, getting ready for the show, the last show of the tour. Thank god, I could get away for a few months… I was lost without Alex, my life just got more and more fucked up as the time passed. I loved him, he was my first love and you always remember that. I just wished I didn't remember it quite as much…


	19. Chapter 19

**This the end! *sobs***

**So guys, the lryics are by my close friend Kayleigh, and her friend James. Don't steal them! **

**Enjoy, I hope this is a nice ending to this story.**

**Their might be a sequal, I'm not sure atm. :3**

**Disclamer; I do not own any of the bands or brands or the lryics I use in this fanfiction.**

**Taylor POV,**

Jack woke me up, I stared at him for a good long time.

" 'Sup Jack-Attack?" I asked, rubbing my eyes.

"Taylor, we need to help you win back Alex" He said simply, pulling me by the arm out of my bunk.

"Hm?" I said, Zack and Rian were standing in the front, with their instruments.

"Where's Alex?" I said, when it became obvious no one would reply.

"At the hotel, with Ava… but that's not what we're on about now" Zack said quickly.

I looked at them confused, "What's going on?" I asked,

"Look, you need Alex, he needs you, so this is how we're going to get you together" Jack said, handing me a piece of paper with scribbling all over.

"Whats this?" I said, I read it, it was a song…

"Alex is going to ask you on stage to sing, we all know you can sing amazingly" Rian said, everyone else nodded in agreement "and when you left, Alex wrote this song about you and that you were dating Olli, we think it's the perfect song for you to sing to him."

"But…" I said, shaking my head.

"Please Taylor, we want our friend back" Jack said,

I nodded, "Okay, fine"

"We'll play the tune, you sing along 'kay?" Rian said, I nodded.

The rest of the day we practised the song. I was getting good at it, I hoped slightly that it would work.

"Hey everyone! We're All Time Low!" Alex said as they were just about to end their set.

I smiled as Jack winked at me, "Oh, and we'd like to bring our long-term Merch Bitch Taylor up here!" Jack shouted down the mic,

I blushed as Zack jumped offstage and grabbed me and carried me onstage.

"Um, hi" I smiled shyly, waving awkwardly to the crowd.

"Hey, Alex move over you fat fuck!" Rian shouted from the drums.

"Okay, well Taylor's going to sing a song… enjoy!" Alex smiled,

I walked nervously to the mic stand, I smiled and said "Hi, I'm Taylor, this is song is called You're The Only One For Me" I laughed as Jack started to play.

_"It's no big deal_  
><em>I'll like you even if you don't feel the same<em>  
><em>Will I ever get over you?<em>  
><em>I guess I finally subsided to the truth<em>  
><em>Still is this reality or just another fantasy?<em>  
><em>But …<em>  
><em>You're the only one for me, can I be the only one for you?<em>  
><em>Oh-oh the only one for you.<em>

_Just look in my eyes, and give me a sign_  
><em>I won't admit, will you ever confess?<em>  
><em>You promised me the truth<em>  
><em>So now what will you do?<em>  
><em>Because you're the only one for me, can I be the only one for you<em>  
><em>Only you.<em>

_You tell me you feel the same_  
><em>Why do you continue this on, like it's just a game?<em>  
><em>Go on and it way to far, here we are<em>  
><em>Drifting apart again<em>  
><em>I don't want to face it, and walk away<em>  
><em>Because I skip a heartbeat every time I see your face<em>  
><em>But all this time I thought that I should change<em>  
><em>I beat you're so sick of hearing this.<em>

_Just look in my eyes, and give me a sign_  
><em>I won't admit, will you ever confess?<em>  
><em>You promised me the truth<em>  
><em>So now what will you do?<em>  
><em>Because you're the only one for me, can I be the only one for you<em>  
><em>Only you.<em>

_Right now, I'm not going to try save myself_  
><em>I'd throw it all way for you<em>  
><em>It's so obvious you have intentions for some else<em>  
><em>So I'll just stop pretending<em>

_Your silence is easy_  
><em>To continue this is killing me<em>  
><em>Why am I sorry? I wasted all those tears<em>  
><em>Just because you're the only one for me<em>

_Just look in my eyes, and give me a sign_  
><em>I won't admit, will you ever confess?<em>  
><em>You promised me the truth<em>  
><em>So now what will you do?<em>  
><em>Because you're the only one for me, can I be the only one for you<em>  
><em>Only you.<em>

_So if you are listening_  
><em>There just one thing I need to say<em>  
><em>I know you're not on purposely trying to break my heart<em>  
><em>I still can't help being torn apart<em>  
><em>You're the only for me<em>  
><em>Can I be the only one for you?<em>  
><em>The only one for you."<em>

I finished off the song, peeking at Alex through my eyelashes.

"Thank you!" I smiled, I was just abot to walk offatge when Alex grabbed my arm and pulled me to face him.

"I love you" He murmured, kissing me.

"I love you too" I whispered, near tears as everyone "awed".

I finally got Alex back.

**The End! **


End file.
